Most people are afraid to enter into relationships, or struggle in their existing relationship as they experience a lot of heart break, pain, and sorrow in it. Avoiding relationships due to these issues is not a solution. Conflicts will always be there whether it is a personal relationship, or a business relationship. Relationship problems are common and are bounded to occur in any type of relation – friends, siblings, husband-wife, partners or office colleagues.
It is important to learn the skill how you handle it. Once you learn and master these skills, you will become more and more self-aware. In place of avoiding these issues, you will confront them bravely. In this article, we will help you with effective ways to create, and maintain deeper connection in your relationships.
Types Of Relationship Issues / Relationship Problems
When people are involved in a relationship, conflicts are bound to happen. There can be various reasons behind it. No matter how much they look happy in their social media posts, their life 24*7 is not like that. No matter how much understanding you have with your partner, there are always possibilities of common recurring issues in the relationship. We have compiled a list of all those issues that healthiest couples have in their relationship.
It is said that money is the root cause of all evils. It is true in case of relationships. Many relationship problems happen due to financial issues. Money is one of the most important and commonest reasons that leads to fights in couples. One of the partners has complaints that the other partner overspends money and does not manage it properly. Women, who are housewife, most of the times have this complaint that they find it difficult to get money from their husbands. They are asked numerous questions before they get it. Sometimes they don’t even get it.
Power dynamics, who is entitled to what, how much debt does each one has, and personality factors, are some of the reasons involved money related arguments, and talks. This is an ongoing issue for several couples. It is required that couples discuss money matters openly about how do they spend, save, and manage money.
The sooner they have such conversations, the easier it will be to manage them. By setting financial goals will help couples to mutually work towards it. This clear understanding, and expectation from both the partners will reduce the chances of conflicts on this matter.
2. Emotional Issues
One of the reasons for relationship conflicts is when your partner feels disappointed, and angry. This is the most difficult thing to deal with. May be your words, or actions has hurt your partner and has caused a deep scar. They are still holding on to that and are not able to connect with you at the same emotional level as they used to earlier.
In such a scenario, you need to express your partner what makes you feel angry, or hurt. You should do it constructively without making it feel like you are blaming them. You can say that you feel quite upset because of it.
Address your partner’s needs in a productive manner. This approach not just helps you know the cause behind the problem but also asks for forgiveness. Both of you, take time to understand the issue first and then decide how to act in a different way in the future.
3. Temperature In The Bedroom
This has also been the major cause for fights among a lot of couples. The temperature of the air conditioner is a common topic of conflict where one of the couples prefer the room to be cool, and other partner wants it warm. The best way to solve this issue is to compromise. Keeping the temperature mid-range should be agreeable to both the parties. The person who wants the room to be a little warmer can use layer up with covers, and blankets.
A little adjustment here and there can solve any issue. But in our present society, people do not want to adjust. They want the things like they want. When both the parties become adamant and stubborn and care for only their needs and not about their partner’s needs, then it becomes a serious conflict.
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4. Unhealthy Habits can lead to Issues in Relationship
This is again a big relationship problem in couples. This conflict arises when one of the partners indulges in unhealthy habits and the other can’t tolerate it. These unhealthy habits can be smoking, drinking, gambling, addiction to drugs, extra marital affairs, anger, and more.
This is a constant battle seen among partners who wants their beloved to stop these unhealthy habits, but they have a hard time to quit it especially when they have been pursuing their unhealthy habits for a longer-term.
There are two ways to address this issue. Firstly, know that people won’t change themselves if you push them. Secondly, convey them how their unhealthy behavior impacts them. Make sure you express your emotions and needs in a loving, and constructive manner.
5. Sex is a remedy to resolve Relationship Problems!
Sex is the next common issue seen even in healthy couples. It is a tough topic for most of us to communicate about, but it often results in creating problems in a relationship. Things become worse when couples do not have good communication.
At that time, communicating on this topic is a lot more difficult. Disagreements on sex can be due to several reasons, that includes difference in sexual appetite, expectations, incompatibility, needs, desires, performance issues, and monotony. The only way to deal with this issue is to have an honest, healthy, and open communication.
6. Household Chores
Women generally comes up with this problem. They believe they are responsible for doing all the household chores, and their partners do not help them. This is a story in almost everyone’s household. Division of labor is the common topic on which couples yell at each other.
To solve this conflict, the most important thing is to communicate your expectations. It is required that couples sit together and mutually decide how they can share responsibilities. Doing this, will make them feel more connected. Both of them will feel greater satisfaction in their relationship and lesser conflict.
Driving is another main issue between couples. They are generally seen fighting on petty issues like the speed of driving, the style of driving, habits like talking over the phone while driving, etc. Some couples find that their partner is either too slow, or fast while driving. Some partners also complain that their partner does not follow the traffic rules and regulations while driving. They say that they are not a safe driver. Both men and women are in a race to prove themselves as better drivers.
Some partners do not like others to instruct them what needs to be done, and how it should be done. It is important that both the partners to value safety over their ego. Partners should respect the need to make their beloved feel safe. They should not feel that the other partner is trying to control you.
It is the duty of the driving partner to ensure safe driving behavior, in terms of regulating the speed, applying speed breaks, obeying traffic signs, and not attending to calls, or message while driving. The other partner should agree to this request of safe driving. Putting the ego sides, and learning to the likes and dislikes of other partner will help in resolving this issue.
Meanwhile you may also like to read how to reduce stress by positive thinking.
8. Social Media
A large number of relationship problems occur due to the use of social media. Some couples do not like their partners spending too much time on social media. In other cases, social media is the primary cause of developing trust issues in a relationship. When one of the partners accepts a friend request of opposite gender, or likes / comments on posts of opposite gender, then also it creates conflicts between partners.
Some partners do not update their relationship status to married, do not include their couple in their profile photo, or do not like the posts of their partner but like the posts of people of opposite gender. All these actions also lead to cropping of issues in a relationship. Chatting to opposite gender on social media such as Facebook, Instagram etc. can lead to fights, hurting of sentiments etc.
Things becomes problematic when one of the partners is quite open, and the other is conventional and orthodox. So, we have seen that social media is one of the causes of different types of emotions that includes insecurity, infidelity, fear of losing, anger, jealously etc.
As social media has become an inevitable part in our daily life, all these issues cause a lot of trouble in a relation. To overcome this situation, it is required that couples become sensitive towards the feelings of their partner.
They should be more responsible for how they act on social media and their presence is affecting their relationship. Accommodating their under-sharing, or oversharing trait can help in reducing these conflicts.
9. Spending Time Together Can Reduce Relationship Problems
The interesting part about this conflict is that couples fight for not just spending less time together, but also for over spending time together. Let us consider the first case:
If you both are professionals and go to work, then it is obvious to get less time to spend with each other. Due to busy life, you may not remember to make time for your partner. This problem can be solved if both of you make effort by taking time out from your busy schedules and spending it with their loved ones. This preparation has to be done in advance. It can be in the form of a vacation, or a trip to restaurant, movie etc. depending on your preferences.
Now let us consider the second case, where one of the partners find it stifling when the other partner does not give them their own personal space. The other partner is hooked and attached so much that they crave for their own freedom. This issue also results in problems.
Many relationships fail because one of the partners loses their independent personality that attracted their partner to them in the past. At that time, you had your own lifestyle, your own friend’s group and your own hobbies and interests, that made your partner interested in you.
But the moment you started making them the center of your life, neglecting your hobbies, friends, and lifestyle to spend more time with them, that is when they start to realize that you have changed. You are no more the kind of person for which I had fallen in love with.
It is nice to have someone special in your life, but losing your lifestyle and self-worth will make you less appealing, and attractive. Nobody would want to be someone who has no life of his/her own. Maintain your individual identity and take relationship as only a part of your existence and not everything.
Your partner will miss you and understand your worth only in your absence. Be busy in your life and spend some time away from your partner. When they miss you, they will surely come to you. Remember to have a healthy amount of separation, and togetherness to keep your relationship moving smoothly.
How Is Counselling Effective In Dealing With Relationship Problems?
Counselling is a great method to get an insight about a relationship. We understand the underlying causes that results in ignorance, and disagreements among couples. Counseling helps to see the origin of unhealthy patterns in life. You learn healthier techniques to communicate with the partner.
You learn to break the patterns, so that you as well as your partner creates a healthy relationship with each other. So, if you find that you and your partner are not able to resolve the issues on their own, and want to give one more chance to your relationship, then seek assistance of a relationship expert, or a counselor.
Hiding from disagreements will prevent you from knowing your partner needs, values, and compatibility especially in difficult times. The longer the issues go ignored, the larger they become and harder to find the way through them.
These tips will equip you with an ability to help in solving common types of relationship problems that you are bound to experience. It takes a skill to have a great relationship. You need to put one brave step forward and make your beloved know that you are prepared to understand them and have become a better version of yourself.
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